Its over now or is it just beginning
by saythatagaintomyface
Summary: Kurt thought Rachel had stolen or tried to steal everything good in his life. Everything that is, except New york. This is the story of the boy who thought he wanted your average Broadway pipe dream but ended up getting something so much better then that. "You want my dreams? well Its a good thing I have new ones". Im really bad at summary's but there you have it hehe


**Heyy guys **

**So this is what, the 3****rd**** time I've posted a story here? only the difference is this time I'm actually going to continue this story, because I like it hehe . So basically what this story is meant be about is Kurt finding out about his Nyada rejection basically ending it all with Rachel because he feels she is dragging her down, makes him feel like crap Ect. Ect. And so he decides to eventually pursue a new dream in New York and of course Blaine and family are all behind him on that and yeah, I'm trying not to give away to much because a) I really don't know a lot about what is going to happen in this fic and b) The stuff I do know will happen I want to be a surprise hehe . There will eventually be loved Klaine stuff don't worry. It's just this first chapter is basically what the whole story revolves around and so it needed to be done first. **

It had been over a week since graduation and over a week since Kurt had got his NYADA rejection letter. He had remained silent on the issue since that day and nobody could figure out how he could be so calm about it all. But perhaps that was just because nobody had bothered to actually ask him. If they had they might have known that he was actually a complete wreck on the inside. He'd just been bottling up his emotions and waiting for the appropriate moment to burst. So after a week of suffering in silence Kurt decided that it was time let it all out. Which was why, after telling everyone that he wanted to have one last glee club meeting and that it was important, everyone was currently sitting in the choir room, chatting idly and watching Kurt pace, waiting for him to say something.

Kurt looked at them all for a moment; he couldn't help but notice how cheerful they all looked. He supposed because most of them, the ones who didn't have to stay another year in this hellhole, were finally free to get out of here and achieve their dreams. Something he wasn't too proud to admit he was jealous of. In fact it wouldn't be too far from the truth to say that he was actually a little bit bitter about it. Not about the fact that they had graduated but about the fact that they were happy. Something he couldn't say the same for himself about. Watching them be happy was probably what made him burst in the end. Maybe that was selfish but it was the truth.

He stopped pacing and turned to face them, coughing lightly to get their attention. When that didn't work he knew there was only one thing he could possibly do to break the ice.

"So I got a letter from Carmen Tibadeaux yesterday". All of a sudden the room went silent, I suppose it was the shock of not having heard Kurt say anything for the past few days, or maybe it was just the fact that this was the 1st time someone had ever dared interrupted Rachel Berry.

"Really, what did she say, did you-". Rachel started, "Sit down and shut up berry". Kurt snapped, pulling the letter out from his jacket pocket. "Dear Mr Hummel". He recited a cold sarcastic tone to his voice. "You would have recently received a letter of denial in regards to your application at my school. I am writing this letter to inform you of my deep regret of that decision". His eyes flickered up briefly, making sure the occupants of the room were paying attention. They needed to hear this. "As you know NYADA is a highly regarded and popular school and we have a limited number of spots available for students each year. We work with only the best and so this year we enforced a new rule. Only two applicants will be chosen from each state. By the time I got to your audition there was only one spot left. That spot was yours. But unfortunately due to a very persistent student who would not take no for answer lest we take legal matters into account, your spot was taken. I want you to know, Mr Hummel that I meant it when I said that I was impressed with your performance. You have so much talent and truthfully you deserve to be at this school more than any applicant I've ever seen through the doors of the New York academy of dramatic arts. Unfortunately there is no longer anything I can do about that. But I can tell you this. You don't need NYADA Mr Hummel. You're so much better than this school and I hope that any other colleges you choose to apply to aren't stupid enough to make the same mistake I did in rejecting you. I hope I will still get to see your name up in lights one day Mr Hummel. Yours sincerely, Carmen Tibadeaux". He finished reading; sucking a breath in, trying to stop the oncoming explosion he could feel coursing through his veins.

Everyone sat there in a state of shock. Trying to process what they had just heard. What came next, nobody expected. "Do you, do any of you know what it feels like to lose your faith in humanity?" He asked. It was a rhetorical question, they all knew that, but still he sent a piercing glare to all of them as if daring them to answer back. "No? Well picture this." He cracked his knuckles and began to pace. "A boy starts his freshmen year in high school, thinking it will be a breeze, no one will bully him now. Oh how wrong he was. The punches and shoves came quick and hard and he ended up spending most of that year being thrown in and out of dumpsters. Then along came sophomore year. The bullying was still as ever present as the year before but he was starting to get the hang of the constant ebb and flow of the high school ranking system. He also started making friends. They weren't much to begin with but at least he had some people he could hang out with that wouldn't throw him in a rotting pile of cafeteria food afterwards. They accepted the fact that he was different and could relate to that and to him that was enough. In fact after a while, after many rough patches and bumps in the road he began to see them as a family. After that there was junior year. The bullying had died down to a simple slushy in the face twice a week and he had a family that even though dysfunctional at the best of times, were determined to make their way to the top that year. Well the top of the show choir heap that is. Any way things were staring to look up. Of course that didn't last long. The bullying began to get bad again, worse so then before. He was the main target of the top predator at his high school and for a while he thought he could handle it but he was wrong, like he was about so many things. He tried to convince himself that the people around him noticed what he was going through but in the end he couldn't keep denying the fact that nobody really cared anymore. Then one day whilst on a mission to spy on their fellow show choir competition he met his saviour." He looked up briefly to smile at Blaine, who smiled back sweetly. "Finally somebody took the time to listen to him. This person cared about him more than anyone he'd ever met and after they both took the time to fully realise what this meant, this saviour became a very special person in his life and, He'd like to think he became someone very special for this saviour too. Of course there were always lots of ups and downs but in the end everything worked out. He'd had a pretty good year for what it was worth. Then there was senior year. They year he was certain was going to be his best. He was going to make sure of it. It was his last year and he wanted to make sure that at the end of it all he came out on top. Or as close to the top as an 18 year old flamboyantly gay person could get that is. So he studied his butt of, never missed a day of school; all while keeping up a healthy relationship with his boyfriend. And although there were still many bumps in the rode things worked out quite well. He and the rest of his show choir family made it to nationals that year and won. Now all that was left was to get into his dream college. But he wasn't worried about that. He had a good resume and two killer letters of recommendation. Not to mention He absolutely aced his audition. And this wasn't just his ego telling him that. So imagine his surprise when he finally gets his acceptance letter only to find that it wasn't an acceptance he was getting. It was a rejection. And looking back on it, it really should haven't been that much of a surprise, give everything that's happened in his life. But that doesn't mean it didn't hurt. It hurt more than anyone of you can probably imagine. ..That's what losing your faith in humanity feels like."

Everyone just started at him in concern, an eerie silence swept over them. They had no idea what to say at this point. But of course that silence didn't last long. "Kurt I know your upset but not everyone can get what they want. I thought you all of people would know that." Rachel said getting up to comfort him. Kurt had his back to her, facing the wall. Before she could reach him he whipped around to send her an icy glare as if he were sending her daggers with his eyes.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he yelled. She'd really done it now. "I don't understand..." she said softly, a look of hurt on her face. He rolled his eyes as if to say "_of course you don't_. " "I don't know if you've noticed Rachel, but I never get what I want!" he shouted angrily. He could feel the rest of the glee club looking shocked behind him. He turned to face them. "I mean aside from a loving family and friends could any of you honestly tell me that I have?" he said his voice a little lower. He wasn't angry at **them**. None of this was their fault. "What are you talking about?" Rachel yelled back at him her voice quivering slightly.

"What am I talking about?" he said as if he couldn't believe how oblivious she was being. "Rachel you have stolen everything from me!" he yelled. She opened her mouth to say something, probably to try and defend herself but he cut her off before she could. "Don't!" he yelled holding a hand up to stop her." Don't try to deny it". "First you stole Finn which I'll admit I've put behind me now, but then you tried to steal Blaine and let's not even mention the countless solos. You even tried to steal Nyada from me. Yes don't think I've forgotten about when you tried to talk me out of singing the boy next door for my audition. Of course that backfired. But none of that matters because now, the icing on the fucking cake, you've gone and stolen the one thing I had left, New York. And I tried to be happy for you when you got in, I really did. But how can I be when I know that you never really earned it. No you stole it from me...Just like you did everything else. "

It was at this point Kurt wondered if maybe he should just stop talking and make a dramatic exit before things got more out of hand. He was so riled up now though; he didn't think he could stop this fight even if he had wanted to. He needed to release the tension, the tension that had been building up for the past 3 years of his life. It was time to let it all out and finally get it of his chest. He looked at the rest of his friends briefly curious as to what they felt about this. Why hadn't any of them tried to stop him? Why didn't they just tell him that that was enough and to sit down like they always did? But no, they were all sitting there just staring at him, some in confusion, but most with a strange look of calmness about them. The look in their eyes was something almost akin to determination. It was as if they were encouraging him to do this, like they knew they could stop all of this but didn't want to. As if they could feel how much he needed this.

"Kurt I thought you were past this." Rachel said in a disappointed tone. He scowled at her, trying to cover up the hurt expression on his face he knew he was beginning to show. "How can I get past this when every time you get something I don't I'm reminded of how much of a failure I am and how because of you I'm never going to amount to anything. You get everything Rachel even if you fail at something you still do. You live under a blessed gold star Rachel and no matter what I do I'll never be able to outshine you." Kurt spoke in a bitter tone, the underlying hurt evident in his voice.

"What...what are you saying?" Rachel spoke in a wobbly voice, clearly on the verge of tears. "I'm saying that I'm done." Kurt said calmly, staring at his feet. He could bring himself to look at her; he hated it when she cried. Not because she was upset but because it always made him feel sorry for her, when he knew in the back of his mind he had no reason to. "Done with what?" she said quietly as if she could already tell what he was about to say. "With us, this toxic twisted thing between us!" he yelled, not out of anger but because he couldn't stand the silence, it was almost deafening. "I've been waiting in the wings, watching you for the past 3 years of my life and I just can't do it anymore. I can't stand to live in your shadow any longer. It's over Rachel, I'm finished." He said with finality in his voice. He walked out of the room without a second glance. He didn't need to storm out or slam the door or any of those things people normally did when they'd just ended a relationship with someone, because the only thing that matter now was that finally he could breath.

**So yeah that's my first chapter, what do you think? Hehe . As you could probably tell from reading it this first chapter was basically me just summarising and channelling all my angst and rage about the way season 3 ended but don't worry I promise you there will be more plot to it than this. Also I have no idea when I will update due to the fact that I have school, and life and other things to deal with so please don't pressure me or annoy me or it will never happen. Also I'm sorry about any bad spelling and or grammar and the vagueness of it all. It's unedited as I am still looking for a beta to edit my work. If you're interested or know anyone who is don't hesitate to let me know. It would be really appreciated . (yes I'm aware this site has a whole beta section but come on how am I supposed to chose from thousands and thousands of people like that? It's hard to find who I'm looking for by just reading a couple of sentences about someone Hehe) .**

**Anyway that's all for now**

**So until next time**

**Ciao. (Im not Italian I just felt like saying that hehe)**


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